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This was my time as much as his! Hookups, in and of themselves, are neither inherently good or bad. They are a medium for expressing and experiencing our sexual desire—it is how we use them that matters. The pressures from this foreign culture made me question the transparency I was used to at home. I should have been upfront and delineated my preferences. While it was consensual, it definitely was not enjoyable. The holes in American hookup culture exist because of a lack of communication and an asymmetry of expectations.

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